Over the past two weeks, I have been having sessions with a female Iranian client who has been bringing into our conversations what is currently happening in her country. She seems to be a strong supporter of the war, even though her family and friends live in Iran and the fact that she cannot contact them causes her a lot of worry.
I hold a different political view and I find myself internally negotiating whether or not to share it. She notices my hesitation and it becomes clear to me that I need to be transparent.
When I share my perspective, something shifts, and she begins to speak more openly about her experiences living in Iran.
She says, “You have to understand… growing up there, as a girl, as a young woman—it’s all about shame, control, fear.”
I listen, and she continues, searching for words.
“For you, maybe this war looks different. But for me… even the idea of U.S. influence—it could mean freedoms I’ve never had.”
There’s a pause, and then she adds, more quietly:
“People are dying, yes… but maybe that’s the price. Maybe that’s what it takes for things to actually change. The demonstrations didn’t work.”
I notice the weight of what she is saying, and she goes on:
“I don’t know what will happen. It’s risky. But staying like this… that’s not an option either. Anything feels better than this regime.”
Then she goes on wondering out loud:
“Why is it that the rest of the world can so easily say ‘no war’ and not see this? They’re not even Iranian, and still they have opinions about what should happen in our country.”
She pauses, then adds, more to herself:
“I don’t know what to do to make people understand.”
I sit with that for a moment, and then gently bring us back to what is happening between us.
“I notice that we also see this differently,” I say. “Maybe we can use that—try to understand where each of us is coming from.”
From there, I share more about my own perspective on the war in Iran, and how my views have been shaped and what I think of the current U.S. administration.
We are able to shift from opposing views into a space where, on my side, there is a strong sense of love and respect for her and her wishes, and on her side, a growing understanding that people speak from their own personal experiences—and that evoking empathy might be a way to help them understand.
Looking back at these last two sessions, I can identify several elements that helped to build trust while holding different political views:
Awareness of my own political ideas—where they come from and how they have been shaped
Being thoughtful and intentional in how I share a different perspective
The ability to stay present with the strong emotions that political discussions can evoke
Not expecting my client to be empathetic toward me or my views (while allowing that to emerge naturally, if at all)
Expressing that I value my client, even when our perspectives differ
Staying connected to the client’s hopes and wishes
Creating space to fully understand the client’s perspective
Checking in with the client how it is that we hold different political views
Supporting her in seeing that multiple perspectives can coexist, and that her perspective is valid
Remaining open to be changed as a person through understanding my clients
Join my upcoming workshop, “When Politics Enter the Therapy Room – The ‘Neutral’ Psychotherapist?” to learn practical strategies for navigating political difference, building trust, and holding ethical presence in your practice. Join the workshop